she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
