im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
