Soap is not a condiment
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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