it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
false alarm, still single
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
