just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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