it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
