Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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