scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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