he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
