i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
