we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
