Me too!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
