I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
