'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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