I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
