Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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