she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
