I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize