hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize