Your face is a jimmy john
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
