So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
