you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
