Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Pooping to opera.
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