my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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