Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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