She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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