i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
