scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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