The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
