Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
