Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
