would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
