when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
