Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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