you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
