bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the day after is always just damage control
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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