I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
