I haven't been this sober since birth.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
