you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
