Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
