O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You are a genius and a whore.
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