Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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