I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
