Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
