some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize