Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
