just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
