I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
