I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
