i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
