I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
