So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize