My sheets look like a crime scene.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize