Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
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Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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