Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
