Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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