If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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