I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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