yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
